Just For Openers

My apologies for having been absent so long. Been a lot going on lately. However, it hasn’t stopped me from reading, and it’s given me the chance to revisit some of my favorite audit classics. Therefore, I give you my list of the best opening lines from the best Audit books. 

“It was the best of findings, it was the worst of findings…”
A Tale of Two Audit Departments
 
“Call me Issue.”
Moby Desk
 
“A screaming comes across the office.”
Auditing’s Rainbow
 
“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into an insignificant audit Intern.”
The Metamorphosis
 
“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable annex of Western Company, Inc. lies a small unregarded audit shop.”
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Being Audited
 
“Dorothy worked in the midst of a great Kansas Audit Department, working for Mr. Henry who was an audit manager and Ms. Em who was the manager’s assistant.”
The Wonderful CAE of Oz
 
“Someone must have written a bad audit report about Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was in charge of a corrective action”
The Audit
 
“He was an old man who audited alone at a desk in Gulf Stream, Inc. and he had gone 84 days now without being assigned a project.”
The Old Man and the Audit Shop
 
“The computer was dead to begin with, there is no doubt whatever of that.”
An Audit Carol
 
And finally,
 
“It was a dark and stormy audit.”
Every book written about every bad audit experience ever.
 
Your favorites?

Posted on Jan 24, 2010 by Mike Jacka

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  1. "When a day that you happen to know is Sunday starts off by sounding like Wednesday, there is an audit going seriously wrong somewhere."

    Day of the Auditors

  1. "The Auditor belongs to an elite order, a hallowed sub-category. He's got esprit up to here. Right now, he is preparing to carry out his third audit of the quarter. His uniform is black as activated charcoal, filtering the very light out of the air. A auditee's whines will bounce off its weave like a wren hitting a patio door, but excess perspiration wafts through it like a breeze through a freshly napalmed forest."

  1. Oops, didn't give the "title".

    "The Auditor belongs to an elite order, a hallowed sub-category. He's got esprit up to here. Right now, he is preparing to carry out his third audit of the quarter. His uniform is black as activated charcoal, filtering the very light out of the air. A auditee's whines will bounce off its weave like a wren hitting a patio door, but excess perspiration wafts through it like a breeze through a freshly napalmed forest."

    Audit Crash

  1. I don't know what scares me most - the quality of the responses or the fact that Bill had this much time.

    Good answers

  1. Yes 10 minutes during lunch. 'Twas a great deal of time.

  1. The course of an audit never did run smooth.

    - A Midsummer Nights Audit

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