Rebel Without a Condition, Criteria, or Cause (Part 1)

There is a darkness in companies today. It is not just the darkness of corporate malfeasance; it is not just the darkness of questionable ethics; it is not just the darkness of hallways dimmed to save on electrical bills. It is the darkness that results when the young and the innocent go bad. Where once walked the trust and hope of the company’s future; where once walked the pure, the untarnished, the beacons of virtue; now walks a plague. For the corridors of business are being overrun by rogues, thugs, and gangs. The Auditors are in control. 

Murray runs with an audit gang — the Scope Creep — one of the toughest on the bottom first floor. He walks through the office with the knowledge that his opinion matters. His left hand swings casually. His right hand rests in his pocket. People glance at Murray, then quickly look away. When he tells someone to move, they never hesitate. When he bumps into someone, they act like it never happened. And each of them glances at that pocket, because they know that’s where Murray keeps his ultimate weapon; where every gang member keeps their weapon. It’s small, but powerful enough to bring anybody down. It’s the audit charter.
In every company it seems to be the same. If it’s not the Scope Creep it’s the Correcting Actions, or the Useless Cause, or the Factless Findings, or any number of other names built off their corrupted standards. Whether they’re in a “planning meeting” getting ready for their next “assignment,” or scoping out the next piece of turf they want to take, or hanging out at the cafeteria taking “samples,” auditors have bullied their way into every aspect of most companies, making it impossible for decent folk to earn a living.
The bearded, muscled leader of The Scope Creep, known simply as “The CAE” puts it this way. “You can either be with us or against us. If you’re with us, we do our work, we don’t waste your time, and it’s a clean finding. We can all go on our way peacefully. If you’re against us, well… let’s just say the audit committee’s gonna know your name.”

To Be Continued…

Posted on Aug 10, 2009 by Mike Jacka

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  1. Geez, Mike.  You've lost it.   Here's the bottom line.


    Nobody cares.

  1. Ouch!!!

    Where are my legion of fans to support me?

    Fans?  Fans?  Bueller?

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