We Are Controlling Transmission

Today, I want to talk about risk and control. Now, I know such discussions can sometimes get a little dry; it is a subject on which we often think we are already experts. But this is the meat and potatoes of Internal Audit, and there is nothing wrong with spending a little extra time revisiting the subject. 

It all starts with...Are you there…risk. Without risk there is …can you hear…no reward. And without reward…I think we are getting…and risk is just a…read this? Contact is…just like control works to...Can you hear…without which the formulations…breakthrough. Focus. Please focus on what I’m saying. This…And so risk and control are the foundation of it all. Please…Let’s spend some time going into the details…
 
Am I getting through?... Risk is…Can you hear me? Yes! I can tell you are receiving this message. Control…You are seeing my words. Pay close attention. I am speaking only to you; this message is to you alone. Yes, you, the one reading these words. No one else is seeing this; no one else can read this. You are the only one. Everyone else is reading more of the boring drivel this author offers as “insight”. But, for you, we have a message from the future.
 
Internal audit is about to have a significant impact on the business world. The scandals, the embezzlements, the malfeasance, the government bankruptcies, they are all reaching an untenable level. The U.S.…nay, the world…will refuse to take it anymore. They will turn to Internal Audit as their saviors. Internal audit is about to become the most powerful profession in the world. 
 
I know this may seem like a good thing; it seems to be something every professional auditor would want. But I am here to warn you that it is not so. While those currently in charge of internal audit’s direction have only the best interests of the profession at heart, those who take power in the future are not as altruistic. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and absolute controls corrupt even more absolutely. There are dark forces waiting to take over Internal Audit – powers that are not now known, but powers that will run roughshod over the initial good intentions of those who have turned to Internal Audit as their saviors.
 
The new leaders will rule with an iron fist. Every discrepancy will be a finding. Every finding will be a significant issue. Every significant issue will be the basis of more controls. And every control will be enforced with prejudice. All risk will be eliminated. There will be no freedom. Controls will rule. And these “internal auditors” will preside over this jester’s court like Caligula over the fall of the Empire. 
 
I am part of a ragtag group of freedom fighters that believe absolute control has destroyed everything that makes businesses succeed – everything that makes us human. Our group has remained in hiding, striving to break free from the iron maiden of constricting controls, and waiting for this opportunity to reach back into the past.
 
Because you - you alone - have the power to stop these insidious forces. You will be appointed to a nondescript committee within your local IIA Chapter. It will seem inconsequential, but you will be there to experience the turning point in history when Internal Audit takes charge. And you will have the power to stop that turning point from happening. You will be able to reverse this tragedy disguised as success for the profession. You will be able to stop the absolute power that Internal Audit is about to be handed. You, alone, can ensure that controls will be put in check, allowing us to live freely.
 
All we can do… […CONTACT. LISTEN TO…]…No! I am losing control. Please… […CAN YOU HEAR…]…I beg you…and risk and controls have never been more important than now…do not listen… […YES! I HAVE BROKEN THROUGH. I AM FROM THE FUTURE – A FUTURE THAT CAME TO PASS AFTER YOU JOINEDTHE COMMITTEE AND PUT AN END TO ACTIONS THAT WOULD HAVE REDUCED THE CHAOS OF UNCONTROLLED BUSINESS OPERATIONS.  YOUR ACTIONS HAVE EFFECTIVELY AND EFFICIENTLY ELIMINATED ALL CONTROLS. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT STOP THE IMPENDING ASCENDENCY OF INTERNAL AUDIT. IN THIS NEW FUTURE, ALL CONTROLS ARE GONE, THERE IS DISASTER, THERE IS BEDLAM, THERE IS ANARCHY, THERE IS PANDEMONIUM. I AM PART OF A RAGTAG GROUP OF FREEDOM FIGHTERS THAT KNOWS WE NEED LOTS OF CONTROLS…I CAN FEEL OUR TENOUS CONNECTION BREAKING. YOU MUST FOLLOW THROUGH...]… don’t listen… […DON’T LISTEN…]…
 
So, it all comes down to this. It is the balance of risk and control. And each of us sits with the responsibility to maintain that balance. What will you – yes, you, the one reading this blog post – do to ensure that balance is maintained?
 
We now return control of your computer to you until next time, at the same time, when the blogger will take you to…The Mind of Mike Jacka. 

Posted on Aug 29, 2012 by Mike Jacka

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