They say that the hardest thing about writing is starting. Here is a helpful list of things you can do to keep from taking that painful first step.
Check the printer for ink.
Ask around the department and see if there is anyone who needs help getting started on their audit report.
Decide that a 99% sample is inadequate and go get that last 1%.
Check the printer for toner.
Use spellcheck to replace all the names in the report and see what hilarious alternatives are suggested. Have a contest in the department to see if anyone can guess the original names – winner gets to extend the due date for his or her report by one week.
Take an in-depth class on the latest version of your word processing software.
Realize that the version of word processing software loaded on your computer is 5 years older than the more recent one you just learned.
Check the printer for paper.
Defrag your computer.
Look up “defrag” on-line.
Find a real, live, hard-bound dictionary that is current enough to contain the word “defrag”.
Check the printer for electricity.
Ask your boss how he would have handled this situation in the olden days.
Print out the first line of the report in every font. Poll everyone in the department to determine which font you should use. Fudge the results to ensure the font you chose is in compliance with your department’s standards.
Check the printer to be sure it is, indeed, a printer.
Update your timekeeping ensuring that the way you record time spent preparing to write the audit report helps your utilization percentage.
Go back and interview every auditee, “Just in case!”
Go to a meeting. (Which meeting? Come on, there’s always a meeting.)
Call a meeting.
Expand the scope of the audit to include the printer.
A half hour before the end of the day, recognize you’ll never get the report done today and start packing up.
Update your to-do list by moving “finish report” from today to tomorrow.
So, how do you keep from starting that pesky audit report?