My Contributions to the English Language

Posted on Jun 30, 2013

I love language. I'm a grammar geek (I believe I've admitted that one before) and I can spend hours arguing about things such as when to use a semicolon and how many spaces go after a period. I revel in word play and there is nothing quite like the sound of a well-turned phrase or a well-written passage. And one of the things that makes language so much fun is that, no matter how hard we try, we can't pin it down.
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A Host of New Villains for Auditorman

Posted on Jun 26, 2013

Last month, shouts of joy and jubilation burst forth from the internal audit world when it was announced that Auditorman would be returning, once again bringing his unique brand of oversight, control, and rigorous review methodologies to defend us against the vicissitudes of audit evil. Yes, Auditorman is returning with new adventures, a new sidekick, and new supervillains.

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You Must Be This Tall to Ride This Blog Post

Posted on Jun 24, 2013

My family is a group of roller coaster fanatics. For my wife's 50th birthday (a few years ago – I will be a wonderful husband and not tell you how many) we went to Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey to hit some of the major amusement parks. The theme was "50 Coasters for 50 years." In a week and a half, we road 65 coasters. My daughter called it "The Puke Tour." 
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A Not Even Close to Quick Note About Having So Much to Say

Posted on Jun 21, 2013

Why do internal auditors find it impossible to get to the point? Why is our idea of an Executive Summary five pages long? Why do we think anyone wants 40+ page reports? Why do we believe we have anything worth saying that deserves an investment equal to the annotated version of War and Peace?
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And the March of the Bayonets Continues

Posted on Jun 16, 2013

Recently, I was talking to a couple of auditors. The subject was audit objectives. I was putting forward what I considered to be a rather conventional, uncontroversial proposal that objectives should be stated in a positive manner — the objective of this audit was to ensure controls were adequate, the objective of this audit was to ensure the effectiveness and efficiency of processes, the objective of this audit was to help the organization achieve its objectives, the objective of this audit was to show that internal audit was part of the team, not a part of the problem.
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What I'm Reading Right Now and Why You Care

Posted on Jun 3, 2013

As the creator of some rather bizarre humor pieces (let's face it, if you combine internal audit and humor you will get bizarre results), I often get the question "Where do you get your ideas?" I always think of the way Harlan Ellison handles that question. He answers "Schenectady."

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