Your Internal Audit Horoscope

 

Isn't it a great day to be alive? Isn't it a great day to be an auditor? Well, no matter how good the day, we could all use a little help navigating the shores and reefs of our professional lives. Find your birthdate below, and discover how to make your day even better.
 
Aires (March 21 – April 19) – It is a good time to repair relationships. Take your spouse to dinner. Call a relative you haven't talked to. Visit the fraudster you sent to prison.
 
Taurus (April 20 – May 20) – You may be surprised what happens when you stick to your guns. Everyone is telling you that you are wrong, but don't believe them. With another two or three solid months of testing, you will have a finding.
 
Gemini (May 21 – June 21) –It is a good time to experiment. There are two sides to every issue. And there are two ways to write every report. Write it both ways and combine it into one report. It is also a good time to brush up on your resume.
 
Cancer (June 22 – July 22) – It is time to work on communication. The people you work with are all starving for information. Fill that need by filling everyone's time with meetings. Start each with "I know we've all met before, but let's go around the room and introduce ourselves again anyway", "Let's spend the next hour deciding on an agenda", or "Who called this meeting?"
 
Leo (July 23 – Aug 23) – Now is not the time to be taking chances. Yes, the issues you have identified related to spending by the CEO are solid. However, wait on reporting those issues until all performance raises are approved.
 
Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22) – A new member of your department feels uncomfortable. Reach out and establish connections. Make them welcome. They come from a department you are about to audit. They know where the bodies are buried.                                                                  
 
Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 23) – It is a good time for a little vacation. At least until that little kerfuffle from your report blows over.
 
Scorpio (Oct 24 – Nov 21) – Your lucky number is 42. Your lucky color is red. Your lucky word is "mitigate". And your lucky standard is 2120.A2
 
Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) – Someone will present you with a personal dilemma today. Be receptive. Listen attentively. Be compassionate and caring. Remember, one person's dilemma is another person's audit finding.
 
Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19) – There's a strong, warlike instinct within you that's fired up and ready to fight. This is a valuable asset. Just don't tap into it while discussing potential issues with senior executives. There is a thin line between fired up and fired.
 
Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) – If you’ve been having problems with an important relationship, things will move in a much better direction today. It is amazing what a few well-placed photos can do in getting an auditee to agree to your findings.
 
Pisces (Feb 19 – March 20) – Things are moving forward whether you like it or not. Electronic workpapers are here to stay.
 
What do you think your horoscope look like?

Posted on Mar 6, 2013 by Mike Jacka

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